Duck 1: would you like to improve your life? Would you like to see your factory’s production increase by 15% or more? Since 1994 we have grown from a small floating company into a company that has helped over 750 small businesses increase their productivity. Established in 1848, Progress is one of the fastest growing agents in America. Wouldn’t you prefer PROGRESS to your hum drum protestantism?
Duck 2: Here is a list of words or phrases that you should not use because they are old fashioned or rude.
'Would you be so kind'…
Duck 1: Would you be so kind as to fill out our survey…
Duck 2: 'I would like to take this opportunity to…'
Duck 1: I would like to take this opportunity to introduce to you a product that improves itself by its own very nature…
Duck 2: 'kindly..'
Duck 1: Kindly put your life savings in the envelope I have provided…
Duck 2: 'Thank you in advance..'
Duck 1: you will want to thank me in advance for the improvements upon your factory…
Duck 2: 'Acknowledge receipt of….'
Duck 1: acknowledge receipt of… what?
Duck 2: receipt of.
Yes. Do not use the phrase : 'acknowledge receipt of'… or ‘advise.’ When trying to sell a product.
Duck 1: I would not advise going with our competitor…
Duck 2: 'As Per'
Duck 1: I don’t know how to use that in a sentence
Duck 2: Im telling you not to use it in a sentence
Duck 1: (mockingly) 'as per' your first comment
Duck 2: no that’s not how you use it.
Duck 1: Fine.
Duck 2: (sigh.)'At this time..'
Duck 1: 'at this time' is a great way to make them feel like you are a professional
Like you would be great to work with
Like your product is
Duck 2: do not use the phrase “ at this time.”
Duck 1: Duly noted.
Duck 2: “duly”
Duck 1: I cant say Duly?
Duck 2: no. Don’t send mass email mailouts.
Duck 1: SPAM! Hah!
Duck 2: don’t send a fax. Don’t send out sales letters that have spelling or grammar mistakes. Or use out of date English.
Duck 3:
Buy our progress. Its really great.
Duck 2: right.
Duck 1: right. What he said.
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